It’s only of late that I’ve come to be fully conscious of my masculine and feminine personas. The feminine side of me – I’m charming, flirty, extremely well-mannered and proper and usually that’s every man’s dream of what they perceive as a malleable, ideal wife to be. Until they realise you’re not. That usually happens at the stage when you decide to rebel, not listen to what they want you to wear, their ideas of what you should like/dislike, how you should do your job, whom you should talk to etc.

Feminists will tell you to use your feminine wiles to get your way and enjoy the advantages of being a woman. Others will rave against the unjustness of being called aggressive for having an opinion. The truth is that women are scary when we have an opinion—we literally roar like a lion (not a tigress) and we gotta have things our way. Women who know their minds can also be supremely sexy and have led men successfully through wars and billion dollar takeovers. It’s just that they’re mostly stereotyped and called too ‘manly’. All women leaders who have shown strength have been disliked, termed too aggressive and been viciously ripped apart at the slightest hint of failure—she doesn’t know anything, she only got it because a person of influence was in favour, she should never have been in that board meeting and so on.

How do you, as a woman, deal with the numerous projections placed on how you should be perceived? 

1. Take the emotion out of it. 
   While emotions can be our strength when it comes to being empathetic, they can be detrimental in extreme negotiating, and in management conversations where you end up looking irrational rather than confident of your mind and reasoning. 
2. Be authentic. 
   Don’t get caught up in how you should be. Listen to your inner voice and follow your gut. When you seem sure of yourself, others will have no choice but to listen. 
3. Call it out. 
   When someone makes a casual joke at work about your personal life, or how they think you spend your time, “She doesn’t really work for the money.. / She has kids and she must be busy… / Aren’t you spending time with the in-laws so late at night..”,  It’s really none of their business. If we spend our time worrying about random people approving of us, we are never going to get to the stage where we command respect – for our work!
4. Flaunt it. 
   When you’re in control, you will be more confident, you will be selfassured and it’s just as intimidating whether you choose to pair up confidence with your favourite suit or an elegant dress. We have the advantage of being able to tap into both the strong, decisive side as well as the empathetic and nurturing side. It’s about showing our strength as a leader.
5. Find your Mentors. 
   In today’s world you’ll find a surprising amount of people willing to support you. Find the people that will have your back, will offer help, will tell you when to course correct, and keep them close. They will cushion you during tough times. Most importantly they will believe in you and they will always encourage you to go after your dreams—however long it takes you.
6. You’re smarter than you think! 
   Women have spent a lifetime listening to men tell them they don’t know anything, are not good enough and don’t know how the world works. On the contrary, we have proven ourselves equal to them in knowledge, science, sports and every other field. Don’t let some patriarchal BS hold you back from your purpose and ambition. 

Your purpose is yours to realise to its full potential and no-one can take that away from you. If having a purpose makes us ‘masculine’ and ‘aggressive’ and uncomfortable for others it’s really their problem isn’t it? The world is heading towards not just an inclusive, but a gender neutral era and we are lucky to be part of a change that welcomes us to be comfortable in our own skin. Demand the support you need and claim the opportunities you get. Find your passion, and don’t hold back.. the future is yours to create.